Being Bisexual in India

Saradha Natarajan

Disclaimer: Names changed for security reasons.
I was using my phone and my girlfriend called me. I had her number saved as ‘my beloved wife’. My mom asked me why I had it saved it like that and I told her that it was just a joke. But few minutes later I came out to her. We spoke about it for a while and she asked all the usual questions. A month later, she accepted it. My dad noticed something was wrong and confronted my mother about it. When she told him, he said that it was fine. Now, I’m seeing someone else and my family adores her. They’re very happy for us.
I came to Mumbai for an internship and I was dating a boy. I never realized that I could be attracted to women, but when it actually happened, it took me by surprise. I met this girl and realized I had feelings for her. I decided to tell my mom before anything happened. My mother was rally close to me. She knew I had broken up with my boyfriend, so she asked me if I was seeing someone new. I told her I was spending a lot of time with this girl and that it was really nice.  I told her how we met and how I enjoyed spending time with her and that I finally told her that I was bisexual and she just said ok. When I went back to home, I took my mom and stepdad out for dinner. We talked. They understood that it’s just the same as any other relationship, just with someone of the same gender. When they visited Mumbai, they met her. And they loved her too. My stepdad actually took me aside to tell me that my mother was really happy for me and my relationship. She just needed to see it to fully get it. Once she did, my girlfriend became part of the family.
I could have made an actual closet and jumped out of it. It would have also extended the opportunity to others to come out of their own closets as bigots, homophobes and duplicitous people. I kept telling myself that my sexual orientation is my business and I need not share it with the world. That changed when I met my partner. I spoke to most of my close friends and told them about my partner. Some friends chose to be indifferent, some conversations turned into arguments but many ended in warm hugs. Some were upset that I had lied to them, by keeping that part of my life a secret. It’s been over three years now that I’ve been with my partner. I think my friends are now closer to him than me.


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