Disclaimer: Names changed for security reasons.
I was very open with my parents and never hid anything from them. I came out to them when I was 19-years-old. They already had a vague idea. My dad guessed what I was about to say. They were disappointed but they assured that their love for me would never change. My father did not talk about it to me much but my mother took a year to get used to my sexual preference and later she even discussed about my relationships. I’ve never had too many gay friends, because I was never made to feel like an outsider amongst straight people. It was not made a big deal in my college when they found out about me. I was not a person who told people about my identity until unless they asked for.
I came out to my mom in my mid-twenties when I had my first boyfriend. She did not get dramatic and her response was what will I have for dinner? When I asked if she was ignoring what I said, she simply said, yes, I did, but we still we need to have dinner. I also came out to my school friends after a long time. It was a reunion and I had invited everyone to a gay-bar in L.A. I told them over dinner that I was gay. They were upset that I did not come out earlier.
I never knew coming out could be this refreshing. But coming out to the world is a completely different thing compared to the loved ones. I told my parents and they were okay. They were unsettling but they had doubts if I was sure. I hope there will be times when coming out is not a celebration, but a part of day-to-day life, like saying you like chocolate ice cream or deciding that you don’t want to be an architect anymore. My coming out hasn’t changed who I am as a person – I still wear the same clothes, love the same flavour of ice-cream, joke about the same things, and I still hate pigeons as much as I did a month ago. But my feelings have changed. I feel free.
I had just come out that I am Gay. I was living away from my parents and that night I wanted to just tell them. I skyped with my dad and we talked about class, work, travel and family—general things you would discuss with your parents when you live away from home. As we wrapped up our conversation, my dad suddenly mentioned that he came across my name online as a part of my university’s Out list, an annual declaration signed by faculty, staff and students in support of LGBT rights and equality on campus and beyond. He asked me why my name was up there. He had been looking me up on Google from time to time. I panicked and I covered up by telling that I was doing it to support my friend which seemed to have satisfied him for a second. But in a split of second I told him that I was also Gay. I managed to tell my dad that I wasn’t only signing the list for my friend, but for myself as well. He got the message. He asked whether he could tell my mother, to which I replied that he should. The call ended with him telling me that I was to stay safe and no matter what, they both loved me.
I came out to my mom in a very strange way. I abruptly told her that I think I don’t like girls but I like guys. Now, this was back in the 10th grade. Without skipping a beat, she replied telling it was fine and she said that we can talk in a while as she had to watch the television. By doing so, she showed me that this as just another inconsequential thing about her son that was to be loved equally. She showed me how she accepted me, and adored me.