What was the first reaction of parents when came out as a Trans person?

Saradha Natarajan


Here are a few similar encounters that the peers went through.

Disclaimer: Names changed for security reasons.
I have no clue about how my parents found out about my sexuality. I was not even thinking to come out to my parents in the first place. I knew what their response would be. My mom told me that I am not transgender, I am merely sick, and also that my asexuality is a myth. My friends helped me out so much, but my parents believe that I am thinking that I could be a trans is all their fault and the school systems fault. So, they cut me off from school and stopped me from talking to any of my friends. The past few months have been very stressful and terrible for me as they have been hurting me. But they believe they are helping me, so they don’t care how I feel. They didn’t even tell me how they found out.
My dad said that he will love me regardless of my sexuality when I came out. But the very next day he said that I will not be transitioning under his roof. But a decade later, I did transition under his roof and he paid for my chest surgery. There are still times when he brings up that he preferred it when I was just gay which is mildly annoying. But I try to cope up as he’s also dealing with a lot of mental and physical issues and he grew up in the 1960s. Understanding sexuality and gender wasn’t something he grew up with and he’s rather comfortable in what appears to be a belief.
I transitioned within six months of coming out. My mother supported me and said that I was her kid no matter what. A few days later, she wrote me a letter that said in part, “this seems right for you, but be careful.” I thought that was a sound advice, and I followed it. She remained my supporter and said she was proud of me.
I started my transition when I was 19. My Mom noticed that I looked a bit different, but nothing more was said. I let my hair grow out till the middle of my back. I visited home after several days and my mom wanted to know what was going on with me. When l told her that I was a transgender, she was very upset. But days later, she calmed down. We talked about my childhood and all the things that were different about me from the other boys. She began to understand what I went through. When I told my father, he said that explains all that he saw when I was growing up.
My mom was more worried about me being an atheist than a woman. She accepted me as her daughter but had a hard time as she referred to me as her son for 40 years. She likes to tell people that her daughter used to be her son. I didn’t like it one bit when she referred to me as her son and told her so. As far as I know she hasn’t done it since. My dad died before I came out. I know he’d have been just as accepting as my mother.
I was 16 when they kicked me out of the house and drove me straight to my aunt’s house a block away with a toothbrush and a bible. My aunt was part of the LGBT community. I remember the first day she logged on to eBay and said that my parents gave 150$ to buy clothes. It was the first time in my life I chose what I wanted to wear. I was so happy cause a few days later, my closet was filled with the most grandpa looking clothes I could find. I had all the bowties in the world. My parents accepted my preference but did not stay close to me.
My mom did not take it well and said that it was the devil and wondered if she did permanent damage to me when she drank wine when she was pregnant. Over the next 4 years she never got my pronouns or my new name right, and I stopped speaking to her for something for another reason that is unrelated. Nothing changed about me being a transgender or her reaction to it. Those conversations and debates were a waste of my time and energy.
My parents didn’t get it. They still don’t. They just tell me I’m confused and never thought I was anything but what I was born as. They say it’s like losing a child and they tell me I’m selfish. They say it’s so hard for them but they do not understand how hard it is for me, and they’re not even trying. They say it’s a phase and I must have got it from somewhere. They don’t believe me. They’re trying to make me feel guilty for being myself. It makes me feel horrible.


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