When “Love” Becomes Literal Hell
“If you are lesbian in India, you would go to hell.”
That’s not just religious rhetoric for Hibba, a Kashmiri lesbian, it became a two-year nightmare of exorcisms, electric shocks, and psychiatric abuse disguised as “healing.” Her story isn’t about religious belief it’s about how faith becomes weaponized against queer children by families who think torture is love.
Spoiler alert: The only hell here is what adults put queer kids through in the name of “saving” them.
The Exorcism Industrial Complex
When Parents Become Perpetrators
Hibba’s journey through conversion hell follows a predictable pattern that thousands of LGBTQ+ Indians know by heart:
Step 1: Faith Healers and Exorcisms
- Forcible visits to local faith healers
- Attempts to “cure” her by removing “ghosts” from her body
- Multiple sessions of religious torture disguised as spiritual healing
Step 2: Medical Abuse
- Psychiatrist who blamed childhood abuse for her sexuality
- “Conversion therapy” disguised as legitimate treatment
- Fatal drugs prescribed for two years
- Aversion therapy with mild electric shocks
Step 3: Family Neglect
- Two years of parental rejection and emotional abandonment
- Mental trauma from the people supposed to protect her
- “Simple sorry” expected to erase years of abuse
This isn’t ignorance this is systematic torture of a queer child by every adult who was supposed to keep her safe.
The “Ghost” They’re Really Fighting
Let’s be clear: The “ghost” these faith healers were trying to exorcise wasn’t demons or evil spirits. It was Hibba’s authentic self. They were literally trying to perform the queerness out of her body.
The real evil in this story isn’t Hibba’s sexuality it’s the adults who tortured a child because her love didn’t match their script.
Medical Abuse Dressed as Treatment
The Psychiatrist’s Playbook of Harm
The psychiatrist’s approach reveals the dangerous intersection of medical authority and religious bias:
The victim-blaming: Immediately asking if she was “abused as a child” because obviously queerness must come from trauma, not authentic identity.
The magical thinking: Telling her to “think that she is heterosexual” and she’ll become “normal” as if sexual orientation is a choice, you can think your way out of.
The chemical torture: “Fatal drugs” for two years medication that could have seriously harmed a healthy young woman whose only “illness” was loving women.
The electric shock therapy: Aversion therapy with mild shocks literally torturing her brain to associate her sexuality with pain.
When “Do No Harm” Becomes “Do Maximum Harm”
This psychiatrist violated every principle of ethical medical practice:
- Pathologizing normal sexuality
- Prescribing dangerous medications for non-existent conditions
- Using torture techniques banned by human rights organizations
- Reinforcing family abuse instead of protecting the patient
The real question: How is this doctor still practicing? Why aren’t there legal consequences for medically torturing LGBTQ+ patients?
The Kashmir Context: When Identity Becomes Double Jeopardy
The Intersection of Religious and Regional Oppression
Being a lesbian in Kashmir adds layers of complexity that most Indians don’t fully understand. Kashmir’s conservative culture combined with political instability creates unique dangers for LGBTQ+ individuals.
Hibba’s identity made her vulnerable on multiple fronts:
- Religious conservatism that demonizes queer sexuality
- Cultural traditions that control women’s bodies and choices
- Limited escape routes due to geographic and political isolation
- Fewer support systems and safe spaces compared to metro cities
The Isolation Factor
In Kashmir’s tightknit communities, family rejection doesn’t just mean losing parents it means losing entire social networks, economic support, and community belonging. Hibba’s two-year isolation wasn’t just emotional abuse it was social exile.
The “Acceptance” That Isn’t
When Families “Give Up” Instead of Growing Up
After two years of torture failing to “fix” Hibba, her family “agreed to her sexuality.” But let’s examine what this “acceptance” actually means:
- They exhausted all conversion options before “accepting” her
- They caused years of trauma before deciding she was worth loving
- They offered a “simple sorry” for systematic abuse
- They expected her to move on from years of family sanctioned torture
This isn’t acceptance this is defeat. They didn’t learn to love her authentically; they gave up trying to change her.
The Trauma That “Sorry” Can’t Fix
“Hibba mentioned that she had been through a lot of traumata and her parents neglecting her for 2 years, has given her a lot of mental traumata and their simple sorry would not vanish anything that she feels.”
Hibba’s response should be required reading for every parent who thinks apologizing erases years of abuse. Trauma doesn’t disappear because parents get tired of inflicting it.
The damage done:
- Two years of psychological torture
- Medical abuse with long-term health consequences
- Trust destroyed between child and parents
- Mental trauma that will require years of real therapy to heal
- Fundamental safety violated by the people supposed to protect her
The System That Creates These Hells
It’s Not About Religion It’s About Power
Let’s be clear: Hibba’s torture wasn’t about religious belief it was about controlling a young woman who dared to exist outside patriarchal scripts.
The real motivations:
- Family reputation over child’s wellbeing
- Social conformity over individual authenticity
- Control over love
- Fear of community judgment
The Professional Enablers
This abuse required multiple professionals to participate or look the other way:
- Faith healers who profit from family desperation
- Psychiatrists who violate medical ethics for religious bias
- Community leaders who enable family abuse
- Legal systems that don’t protect LGBTQ+ minors
Every adult in Hibba’s story failed her. Every system supposed to protect children participated in torturing her.
What This Story Actually Exposes
The Hell is Manmade
The “hell” that religious families threaten queer children with? Hibba lived it but it wasn’t divine punishment. It was human created torture inflicted by adults who chose violence over love.
The real sins in this story:
- Torturing a child for loving authentically
- Using religion to justify abuse
- Medical professionals violating “do no harm”
- Families choosing social approval over child protection
The Resilience That Survives Hell
Despite everything exorcisms, electric shocks, psychiatric abuse, family rejection Hibba survived. She didn’t let them torture her identity away. She endured their hell and emerged with her truth intact.
That’s not just survival that’s revolutionary resistance.
Moving Forward: What Needs to Change
Legal Protections We Need Now
Hibba’s story shows why we need:
- Legal consequences for conversion therapy
- Medical license revocation for practitioners who abuse LGBTQ+ patients
- Child protection laws that specifically protect queer minors
- Safe houses and escape routes for LGBTQ+ youth
- Legal aid for survivors of family abuse
The Community Response
For every Hibba still surviving this hell:
- Document everything records conversations, save evidence
- Build external support before family finds out
- Know your legal rights and how to access help
- Connect with LGBTQ+ organizations that provide real support
- Your survival is more important than family approval
For Families Reading This
If you’re a parent considering “fixing” your queer child:
- The problem isn’t your child’s sexuality
- The problem is your inability to love them as they are
- Conversion therapy is torture, not treatment
- Your reputation is not worth your child’s life
- Get therapy for yourself, not your child
The Hell That’s Actually Real
“If you are lesbian in India, you would go to hell” families use this threat to control their queer children. But Hibba’s story shows us the real hell: being tortured by the people who are supposed to love you.
The hell isn’t some afterlife punishment for loving women. The hell is living in a world where adults think torturing children is acceptable if it’s done in the name of love.
Hibba survived their hell and kept her truth. That’s not just a personal victory it’s proof that love is stronger than hate, authenticity is stronger than torture, and queer joy is stronger than every system designed to destroy it.
The real message of Hibba’s story: They tried their worst, and she’s still here, still lesbian, still authentic.
That’s not going to hell that’s surviving it and coming out stronger.
If you’re experiencing conversion therapy or family abuse, you’re not alone. Resources, support, and legal aid are available. Your life and safety matter more than anyone’s approval.
